Secret’s and social media

There’s much talk of people wanting to keep their relationships “private” and off of social media. Though I am in agreement with keeping the relationship’s private, I also have an issue with the term “private” being used when that is not what’s represented in regards to relationships.



Not everyone enjoys putting their business on social media or opening up their relationship to the opinions of others. While you have others who love showing off their significant other. To each, it’s own right? Well, that depends on if the two people that are a part of that relationship have an understanding.

It is possible to post about your partner without giving insight into the relationship. Posting them is more of recognition, that you are in fact involved with this person, on a level greater than friendship. It’s because of deeper connection some want it to be known that they, in fact, exist showing them off is in no way taking away from the “privacy” factor.

However, if one has an issue with showing their partners face and the other wants to shout it to the rooftop this will began to cause problems. For the one who is adamant about not posting will be looked at as if they have something to hide. Social media can only cause problems to a relationship by those individuals who choose to put their business, their problems, and their issues there. This is what exposes the fragile foundation of relationships, not by posting a picture of the two of you in love.

If you are indeed in a relationship with someone, not just friends, not just dating filling the other out. But you are indeed in a “committed” relationship, why is it an issue to put your man or woman on front street? When you refuse to do this you come off as trying to hide your partner rather than keeping the relationship private.


What are you hiding from? Is it that you want the relationship behind closed doors but want to portray yourself to the public as if you are single? In doing this you allow yourself to be able to slide into other DM’s, flirt and play this part via social media, entertain those you cant take home because you already have someone there. Do you want to feel like you still have options? Or do you want to leave room for if it doesn’t work out you can just toss them to the side as if they were never there? How does this help keep your relationship “private?”  You are actually hiding the one you claim to love while keeping yourself from accountability.

If you were to show them off you then must become accountable. Having to be faithful in word and in action. You cant slide in DM’s, like certain posts, or comment a certain way because you would be found out.  If you want to play on social media why entertain someone offline at all? Why even claim to want to be in a relationship with anyone and be you and do you without having to hurt another person in the process? This should stop you from jumping into relationships quickly if you won’t be ready to let it be known that you are even in one.

If you find yourself arguing about making a person public, instead of making them feel like they are making too much of a big deal regarding wanting to be seen. Why not look at yourself and ask the question why are you so against showing off the person you claim to care about?

Privacy: Freedom from unauthorized intrusion one’s right to privacy (Merriam-Websters).
Hide: To conceal from sight; prevent from being seen or discovered (

Privacy of a thing and the hiding of a thing are very different. Keep your relationship private by not disclosing your business that goes on behind closed doors. Don’t hide the person you are involved with for the sake of you needing to feel like you can have the best of both worlds. You aren’t single if you are involved and you aren’t involved if you are single. Figure out what it is that you want and move accordingly.

The sad part is that you see this more with men then you do with women. Men will have no sign that they are in a relationship on social media at all. No pictures no posts in regard to them being involved, and you see them tagged in a post and you go to that woman’s page and she has him all over her page. And we are like “wow we didn’t even know he was involved, dude got 4 kids too?”   It’s real out here you all be having whole families and no one knows. If you don’t like who you are with if you don’t have pride in the person you choose to involve yourself with, why are you with them?


Unfortunately, we live in a different world social media is here, this isn’t like the 90’s where the only people who knew you were involved were those who were in your circle. let’s face it that’s all the people you were around. With social media now in our faces, it opens you to a greater audience giving you more access to more people. And these people engage with you giving them the ability to look into your life without ever having to be in your presence.

You post about everything else in your life but never about the person you claim to love that is very weird. Now again what I am trying to convey through this blog has to do with those in a relationship, those that have involved themselves with another person and both are under the understanding that its “exclusive”. If you are a jump off, a friend with benefits, or just casually dating then truth be told nobody has to post you for you haven’t made it to that level. And here lies the problem you all better start communicating what it is you are doing.

Some of you women are in relationships with a man who is single; just because you are in his bed don’t make you his woman. Now, that is going to take me to a whole other tangent I’m done for now. Let’s pin that and come back to that topic later. Be real, be honest, be in or be out in your relationships. Love and be loved and acknowledge them. I digress.


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