An Introvert woe’s

Self-reflection is one of those experiences that can cause you to see you for you. A lot of times, we are easily guided in looking at others and their shortcomings, and we put this wall up to shield us from seeing ourselves, especially when it comes to our relationships. I, for one, have struggled in the realm of relationships, whether it be friendships, business, or romantic. I am a private and secluded person. I enjoy being alone, and I enjoy having moments, hours, even days to myself without any interaction with people. I am one who is okay with never having to have contact with other beings, and I can be just as content.

But this complexity about myself has caused a strain in a lot of my relationships mainly because most people need to have people around them. They thrive off of other people’s energy. They need people; there is this need to have someone in their presence, and when it comes to me, people struggle with my distance and the hard climb it takes just to get close to me. And it’s not that I don’t want to get close to people, but it’s more about my need to keep this balance of MY space and MY life exclusively just for me. Usually, when I allow people to get close, it causes havoc and chaos to my calmness. Being around people for too long drains me, and I have to find a place to recuperate from their energy, good or bad.

It’s not that most of these individuals are bad for me, its more that their need for me to be emotional, or open drains me.I’m selfish with having to open myself and allow people into my space. I honestly don”t know if this is a bad or good thing if you asked 100 people I’m sure 95 of them would think the way I live my life is unhealthy. But who is it unhealthy too? Myself or the people that don’t live their lives as I do?

There are many that claim to be extroverts; they thrive off people, and it’s okay for them to be that way. On the other hand, someone like myself, who’s an introvert and likes to not be around people all the time, is looked down on. I’m looked at as insensitive, mean, or hiding behind my need to be alone(Which catch me on a wrong day, and I could be all of those things). Nevertheless, when I am around people I’m engaged, I am present at that moment, but once I leave that moment, you may not get another one for a long time. It’s nothing personal; I’m good at home doing nothing that involves people.

For this very reason, I am selective of my friends; I am careful of who I do engage with because I understand that my lifestyle isn’t for everyone, and everyone can not handle it, nor do they have to. Everyone that is currently in my life knows me well enough to know that my silence, my distance is never personal; it’s just apart of who I am, and for that, I am grateful for the friendships that I have now. It’s taken a lot to cultivate these friendships without losing who I am and also allowing them to maintain who they are. I believe that if we are upfront with people from the beginning of how we operate, it will give those who can handle it the ability to stay and those who cant the same ability to not engage in anything deeper. Relationships and friendships are a choice; nothing is forced upon us. Therefore, some come, and some go, but who are you, and how do you operate your life beyond people? Because it’s those choices, you’ll have to live. I live to please me, and in return, when I am in balance with self I can be better for those who I allow near me.

Yes, no man is an island, and yes, we need people to survive this world, whether it be for business, connections, or what have you, but there has to be balanced. Many people have been instrumental in my growth in life; however, when I went home, I went home to myself. When it came time to make hard decisions, I made the final decision of whatever action was to be taken by myself. I had to pray by myself, meditate by myself, push and encourage myself when times got hard. Why? Because people can only do so much until their own lives become their center of attention, their own families take precedence over your issues. So experience has taught me that even with the help of people, the final say or decision is made by me and only me being alone weighing every option, advice, and help that was given. Alone time is a necessity; it recharges you and gives one clarity to trust one’s voice and inner man apart from all the many voices that are in one’s life. Where do you fall in this discussion, are you an extrovert or an introvert? Do you need to be around people all the time, or are you someone who prefers to be home alone, not around people? Do people drain you? Know who you are and how you tick in this life.

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