“You look intimidating” “You look mean” “I was scared to approach you” are just some of the things that men have stated to me over the years. And I’ve never quite understood the hesitation from them. Many haven’t even met me yet have already come to a conclusion about me before I have ever had a chance to open my mouth and have a conversation with them. I have been known to have a serious look on my face and I have had this same look for as long as I can remember. There are baby pictures of me with a serious look on my face, it’s just a natural look I have. And most often then not I’m not angry, upset or in any kind of mood.
Why are men afraid to approach? What is it that they are looking for? Are they looking for an invitation? Are they looking for a softer look, a smile a flirty demeanor; that gives them the confidence to step up and speak? Is my inability to look like I want to be bothered a turnoff? I use to ask myself these questions all the time. I use to think that there was something wrong with me until one day I had to stop and think “How do I currently have people in my life?” In order for the people who are currently in my life to be here, they had to have approached me wanting to get to know me. And when I started realizing that, I found that it’s not those who are scared or fearful or intimidated to approach me that I care to be bothered with but it’s those who have confidence within themselves and can see past an outward appearance and step forth to get to know me.
Do I have a strong personality yes id be lying if I said I did not, however, using an excuse that I looked intimidating to not approach is not a good excuse. Why must we as women be looked at as weak, soft or submissive in order to gain attention from men? Why are men scared to deal with a strong woman? I said strong, not disrespectful because there is a difference. A woman can be strong and soft, submissive and assertive we are not just one category but we can be all things. And if truth be told submission is not meant for all men, it’s not meant to be given to just anyone just because he is of the male species. Submission is only granted to the man who has the ability to stand in his manhood, approach you, court you, get to know you, commit to you and lead you. But if all a man is looking for is an easy route to a woman’s heart, he does not deserve it.
Quite honestly, A man who is able to break through the barrier of any woman and win her should actually be honored that if it took that for him to win her she is not going to be easily entangled with other men because she is in fact not easy.