Crazy Illusions

I believed in him more than my own gift.
Blood sweat and tears I poured into him, but all he could see was the crazy I displayed.
A crazy that had hurt as its foundation

Hurt from all the credit and love he gave every other woman but me.
Me the one who was in his corner
The one with scarred knees from late nights praying for his come up.
Things that went unseen
My love for him ran deep so deep id sacrifice my own for him.
I was lost;

I was sinking.
How could love betray me?
Or was it love that betrayed me? All I knew was this pain was real.

This pain cuts deep.
Somehow this silver lining came; an awakening within myself began to grow.
I found strength.

I allowed the love I had for him to crawl back towards me.
Personal surgery of the heart.

I got me back. Realized my greatness
Chuckled even, knowing he could never duplicate me.
I allow him to do him.
To invest in those who see him only on the surface.
I remain deep, roots strong unwavering.
I grow; I remain because I am authentic.
You can’t buy me, and you can’t re-create me; you can only feel me.
And shallow waters could never understand my depth.
Love becomes real when you love yourself.


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