I’ve noticed that being single has started to feel like a disease.
So many individuals—mainly women—struggle with it.
I don’t know if it’s social media, or this manufactured need to be with someone,
As if being alone with yourself isn’t enough.
It’s as if singleness has become a curse.
Social media doesn’t help.
It lets us peek into the lives of others and see what appears to be happiness.
But I wish those who feel like they’re missing out could see behind those filtered posts.
Because if they saw what happens behind closed doors,
They might think twice before they covet.
Yes, many people have authentic, genuine relationships—
With partners who love and respect them.
But not every relationship should be your “goal.”
Just because someone posts beautiful pictures online
Doesn’t mean their relationship is whole.
People flex for the ‘Gram.
Instead, I wish more women and men would learn to be content with themselves—
To know that love will find them when they’re ready.
Why rush something you want to last forever?
Work on yourself.
Learn to live life as if you’re the only one in it.
Figure out what makes you tick.
What ignites your spirit?
No friendship, relationship, or career will make you happy if you aren’t already satisfied within.
Let’s be real for a moment:
You’re boring.
Love isn’t going to find you if all you do is stay in the house 24/7.
If you want to be “found,” if you want to meet new people,
You have to get out and live.
There’s so much to engage in that doesn’t involve clubs.
You go from work to church to home—
Then complain that you haven’t found anyone.
You won’t go to dinner, a movie, a museum, or a play by yourself.
You won’t go out unless someone is with you—
And that’s sad.
If you can’t enjoy your own company,
How do you expect someone else to enjoy it?
Everything starts and ends with you.
There’s a difference between living single without concern,
And constantly speaking defeat over your life because you’re not dating or married.
You find someone—okay, then what?
You were born alone,
And you’ll leave this world alone,
Even with people by your bedside.
You are an individual first.
Live to make your life fulfilled and purposeful, with or without a partner.
Your energy flows from within.
And if that energy is rooted in desperation, impatience, or neediness,
It will attract the wrong people.
The ones who feed off weakness and manipulate it.
Protect your space.
Be aware of what you’re putting out.
You may be unintentionally drawing in people who are not for you.
Find out who you are.
What do you want out of life?
What are your passions?
Your desires?
What goals are you working toward?
You’re sitting around waiting for Mr. Right
While he’s out there living his life and getting things done.
Get about yours.
Run until you run into your purpose.
And if a man wants you,
He needs to prove that he’s even qualified to have you.
Don’t sit around waiting for anyone.
Go live your life—and live it abundantly.
No matter who comes along,
You’ll still need to have a life and joy that exist outside of them.
Be more about you and less about him—
Especially the imaginary “him” you haven’t even met.
Selah.
-Velma